My Angelic April: Day 10

08:23 – It is quite handy that the kids are due to go to holiday club today as I am still feeling fragile.

09:10 – I got myself up and walked them round then came home and now I’m back in my pyjamas. Think I’ll have a lie down again.

10:22- Woken up by a wild dream then on opening eyes instantly forgot it. I hate that. It’s like building up for a sneeze and then it just disappears.

16:05- The day was uneventful and now it’s mid afternoon I am feeling more my old self. The sun is shining and I feel like a walk so I’ll picked kids up from club and we can walk down to see my mum and dad.

21:30- Beelzebub had attempted to sabotage the calm the three of us were experiencing during our stroll by demanding I buy her a Kinder egg but I held on to my resolve and firmly said- No! She backed down eventually. Result! Arriving at my folks I instantly can feel my shoulders rise, my temples tighten and my jaw clench. Of course this isn’t because I dislike them on the contrary I love them incredibly but there is a level of hysteria there that sends me into short tempered arsy woman. If I was a superhero mine would be ‘Arsy Woman’. Not that she’s really be super more arsy than anything. I’d just be super at being arsy. The talking at cross purposes, my dads stripping done to his waist in order to proceed operation “shoot up” (although he keeps pointing out ‘ I’m a registered diabetic you know?’), my mum doing her best Two Ronnies Mastermind sketch and worse of all the barking dog. Oh my giddy fecking aunt! That barking dog!!!
Now bizarrely I have a hearing loss on high frequencies but due to some kind of displaced compensation of sound ( that isn’t what it’s called but I can’t remember and that sounds clever) I am very sensitive to loud sharp sounds such as emergency vehicle sirens, house/smoke alarms, children shrieking, little yappy balls of fluff etc. Considering my life I’m pretty much buggered really in the auditory department but it could be a whole lot worse I know.

Anyway at my folks there’s always a whole lotta noise going on. It was like this growing up. I had a large extended family 90% of which were women. Women with big characters. Women with a lot to say. Women talking at the same time. Women making lots of noise. Women!! So the big deed tonight is finally placing the Argos order for my mum and dad’s new kitchen blind and a telephone. This should be straightforward but of course my mum will create a problem even if there isn’t one. After taking the mickey out of my dad ( because it’s all soooo easy too) by asking if he liked the blind mum had chosen, on showing him a Minnie Mouse blind he stared at it for about 10 seconds them said, ‘Is that a mouse?’ The same thing happened when I showed him a Fisher Price toy phone. He did the stare them inquired… ‘Does that just plug in the same?’ …. Oh daddy dear!

Once my japes were over the order was placed and it was time to leave and head back home. As we were leaving my mum then got in a complete flap about whether anyone would be in when the delivery came. The different machinations were both ridiculous and unbearable to listen too. Will they leave a card? Will they leave it with a neighbour? I hope they don’t leave it in
the garden? What do you think? What should I do etc… Then it came. The most ludicrous idea of all.

Mum: ‘I think I’ll just make sure I’m always in the house over next 5 days.’

Her temporary self proclaimed hermit life was all I could stand and I made a break for it… With the kids of course.

23:56- So day 10 draws to a close and I’ve beaten last years record. I’ve only thought about alcohol since I got home tonight and that’s only because I writing this so I’m really pleased. Im a third of the way through my Angelic April and the devil’s not got the better of me yet and if he tries to I’ll show him Arsy Woman.

Nighty night x


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