Here I go again. Going to start up a self help group called – BA: Bloggers Anonymous. Wonder what my ( non religious if you please) 12 step program would be? Suggestions welcome.
A friend sent me a link to an article by a young woman who abstained for a year and has decided to continue to do so. It was great to read it and gave me a new found sense of almost excitement at living a sober life. She focuses on the 7 things she learned whilst abstaining. A couple of things were clearly personal to her but the other 5 I can completely relate too.
1. Alcohol wasn’t fun anymore – no it was slowly but surely becoming self destruction.
2. My life is more manageable – being more alert and having more energy promotes a more focused life.
3. I am worthy of love – it supported, encouraged and justified bad decisions in past relationships and didn’t allow me to really honestly feel what was wrong. Instead I drank a lot, couldn’t remember half of it all then just made decisions I regretted cause it was easier.
4. I’m not perfect and that’s ok – no one is.
5. I’m just beginning to understand who I really am – this for me is a biggy. I come back to this a lot. I am living my life with me. I am eating with me. Sleeping with me. Laughing with me. Crying with me. Parenting with me. Loving with me. Going to the toilet with me. Brushing my teeth with me. I am being me; good, bad and other. Rather than sensing a difficult time; whether it be obviously negative or an insecurity clouded in a social event and using alcohol to help quickly get me to a place that I can feel more carefree, I am using me as the crutch. I am getting me through life. I know where my supports are but I need to be able to support me.
Anyway enough about me. It’s time to arrange yet another visit from the tooth fairy. This time it’s for Maximus who had a tooth extracted today. He coped brilliantly and I was very proud of him. Now I’m all for following the tooth fairy tradition of swapping the tooth with a monetary replacement but as I open my purse I’m not sure I’m keen to place a fiver under his pillow. Feck! Why didn’t I get bloody change??!!
Oh well, looks like I still have a way to go before I reach total clarity. 😉
Nighty night x
Ps 39 days