My Miraculous May: Day 29

So tonight I worked on The Edinburgh Literary Pub Tour for the second time. As I made my way down to the Grassmarket area I was met with an endless stream of cyclists, barriers and extremely loud amplified voices. For the love of Jehoshaphat!!

For fear of being run over by one of these speed cyclists I tentatively tried to make my way through to the cafe I had planned to have some food in before the tour. After stopping someone official looking and try not to come across as a chicken I enquired how I could get to the other side? I was told to walk back up from where I’d just come and there was a crossing point there. Bloody hell! So I did.
Once I reached the cafe I quickly realised that the two queues snaking out of it and onto the pavement were the take away and sitting in queues. Double bloody hell! Not even attempting to join either snake I looked around for another option. Food had to be consumed as I wasn’t working on an empty stomach and I was starting to get the low blood sugar shakes. So I took my life in my hands at the crossing point once more and then again to reach the newsagent shop on the other side. I then purchased an egg sandwich and a packet of crisps. Big whoopee do! Taking a longer route up towards the infamous “Pubic Triangle” area I then double backed on myself to find myself on the side of the street I needed to be on for the tour. There were people everywhere, bloody cyclists and loud speakers all over the sodding place. Now where was I going to enjoy my food. Oh how about that manky old disused church doorstep? Great! So there I sat surrounded by chaos of the wild things. Huge squawking seagulls, buzzy flies and pigeon poop which missed me by no
more than an inch. Triple bloody hell!

As a result the tour had to change its usual route and we started at the second stage but apart from being outside all night and some bemused faces to start with it ended up being a good evening with some lovely positive feedback. The character I play is the teetotaller ( handy for me) but does succumb to the grog half way through in the shape of the hip flask prop. As I mentioned in last post this is all kidology of course but my abstaining from drinking alcohol did not go unnoticed. Two separate people ( well I don’t mean the others were sets of conjoined twins) mentioned how good I was being and how was I coping not drinking especially in the chilly outside air? I replied I was a good hardy Scottish lass. Think they bought it but my bullshit counter was giving me gip.
All of a sudden when someone offers to buy me a drink I turn into a gibbering fool. What to drink? Orange juice, coke, soda and lime, nothing, coffee, water?? Bizarrely not drinking alcohol gives me much more choice. When I was drinking alcohol I knew what I wanted – to feel drunk- but now it seems a bigger and more complicated decision. Yet when I was making it alcohol just wasn’t an option. It never came into it. It wasn’t important.

Back in my Angelic April I wrote about life being a series of choices and decisions and here I was again deciding and choosing. I like that I am choice making with clarity because then every one I make no matter how big or small is honest and what I really want.

No point lying to yourself.

Nighty night x

Ps 59 days

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